1) I finally am starting to get my next art series onto paper. I worked on 2 drawings at lunch.





2) I am really considering with in the next month or so setting up a facebook fan page for my art.

3) I have my rental car but I really miss MY car and want it back so soon. One of the tires seems to have had low pressure (rental) since I picked it up - as the little light came on in the dash the other morning. A pal of mine added more air but fears it may be a slow leak. I hope to God it's not, that it'll be fine and I won't have to go and do one more thing in the process of car fixes and rentals. Oh i miss my car so much.

I am almost finished w/ my Backwards art series. I have maybe 5 or 6 more drawings that need some paint and slight editting but then I'll have completed it! I'm very excited about it. I know I'm just posting it on FB or on here but to me, it's my very first art SERIES. I have no idea what anyone will think of it and i don't much care. I'm just pleased about it's progress and the idea around it.

I have an idea for a new series though I can't quite say what it is yet as I'm still in the early early stages. I'm a bit excited for this one as I can just see it in my head already.

Looks like rain is on the move (probably will get it all right as we leave work) and I suppose that is okay, we do need the rain.

I still find myself pondering picasso's minotaur series. I don't know a great deal about the reasoning behind the art though I've got a saved page so I can peruse when I get time.
I don't know why, I just find it captures my attention.

As found here: http://www.moma.org/collection

Picasso: Variations and Themes
March 28–September 30, 2010
The mythical Minotaur—part man, part bull—was Picasso's alter ego in the 1930s and part of a broader exploration of Classicism that persisted in his work for many years. The Minotaur was also emblematic for Surrealists, who saw it as the personification of forbidden desires. For Picasso it expressed complex emotions at a time of personal turmoil. The Minotaur symbolized lasciviousness, violence, guilt, and despair.

I know that pedestrians have the right of way, but I feel as if there should be an addendum that states that pedestrians should NOT walk behind a car that is in reverse... and then give out dirty looks..... just a thought.

I'm having a day where I have my thoughts and ideas but they're not really going to make sense 'on paper' so there's that....

I am grateful for:
family
friends
nice breezes
the smell of salty ocean air
my vans and airwalks
art and the ability to create it and appreciate it
shark books and documentaries
good music
the comedy radio station on itunes
my health and body parts
the smell of fresh laundry and towels
laughter and dumb jokes
many more things

I love hoops and yoyo
I love Pon and Zi






I'm glad it's friday and I really hope to make a major dent in my art project this weekend. Maybe I'll even finish it!!!

Today has been a very strange day. Stuck in traffic as usual though I did have The Sounds to listen to so that was nice.
Got hit by a car who ran her red light an intersection before my work place.
Luckily (thank you God!) no one was injured and as far as I can tell no major damage.
Definite shaking hands and as i was waiting for the policemen to do their thing I asked if it was okay to smoke if I stayed in the car. He smiled and said yeah. So i had two.... w/ shaking hands.

I have a birthday coming up and it's just a number even if it is a milestone number.
I do hope i get that peanut butter chocolate pie that i love so so much!!!

I am starting a new drawing series that I am calling 'Backwards'. I was drawing last night - really just messing around w/ some ideas I'd been trying to work out and BLAMMO! something cool made it to paper. So I'm really excited and I am just so ready to start working on it this weekend. I finished the painting portion of another interesting drawing that will be scanned tonight. I am impressed w/ the turn out.

Sincerely Me

I remember a line in that movie 28 days that goes something like this:
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I seem to be insane…..I don’t know how to do it any other way (yes I’m being vague and no it’s not dirty) yet the way I’m doing it now is going down that road of ‘not working’.
I end up w/ the same confused mixed emotions and later on down the line thinking what did I do wrong? How could I have done this differently?
I don’t know. Am I supposed to just sit around and wait?
Am I supposed to make it happen?
I don’t know and that fact in itself really pisses me off.
Feeling rather clueless more often than not these days.
Seems to me I’ve messed up that aspect yet again – it’s this feeling I can’t quite shake.
I don’t know how to turn it around or even find out if I have in fact messed it up or if I’m just a paranoid freak.

I spent a good part of an hour at lunch drawing erasing drawing erasing and back and forth and so on. I have nothing to show for it.
I have this idea yet I cannot get it out on paper.

I know I should be overall a good person, to love selflessly, to be overall nice and good and Christian and right now I’m having a hard time of it.
I want to kick someone or something. Really hard.
This week in particular I find myself judging a great deal and I know I shouldn’t – it’s not my job to judge and I certainly don’t want to be judged but I’m doing it still.

This week is just hard....

Ever feel like you've got alot to say but can't seem to get the words to come out?

That feeling seems to be following me like a storm cloud.



Friday my grandparents were in town so we headed off to my parents for dinner. As I had expected, I did get that "So does he (sister's boyfriend) have a brother for beth?" I knew I'd hear it as I hear it everytime they are in town.

Since I'm so incredibly tired of feeling as if I have to defend myself for being single, I just lied and said, oh I'm seeing someone. At that point my sister jumped in and brought the conversation around to something else. God bless her.

I'm sure that's part of their 'job' as relatives but I hate hearing it. I've heard it all before.

I am well aware of my single status. Generally speaking it doesn't bother me - I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reason. Been there done that.

Don't get me wrong, there are certain things I sure do miss. Hand holding, that look you get from the boyfriend, all that stuff. I miss that; however I refuse to settle for less.

I have an idea of what I want and I know for a fact what I do not want. I think that is perfectly okay.

Seems to me that relatives don't always understand that concept.



I found myself Friday late night pouring through my bible and notes looking for words of inspiration. I have been told this is a good thing to do and at times it has worked quite well.

Friday however proved extremely frustrating as I couldn't quite find the words that 'spoke' to me.

After smoking w/ my sister and 'venting' over my frustration, the words I needed just popped into my head. BAM!!!! funny how that turns out. Have faith, He has a plan for you even if you don't yet know what it is.

Sunday the sermon seemed to focus very much on that topic. Again, funny how that works out. I needed to hear it.



The rest of the weekend was me working on art ideas - I have come up w/ some interesting ideas that I'd really like to try out. I finished one yesterday and I hope I don't sound too egotistical when I say I am very impressed with it.




I've had this strange and disturbing recurring dream that while it's extremely vivid in my mind I cannot describe it in words. I hope to draw it out. Since it is a recurring dream I can't help but wonder if there is any signifigance in it.



I never did get around to spring cleaning and goodwill but i did manage a load of dishes and laundry and even took the trash out. Go me........
The rest of the weekend I spent working on some drawings and relaxing.





I find that when my mood seems to be decent but edging towards irritable it helps to listen to anything by Kate Bush. She is fantastic.

1. It's Friday! I am this close to the weekend. I love weekends because I can wear baggy pj's all weekend if I want to. I can take naps in between chores. I can be on my own schedule. I have every intention of cleaning out the guestroom/spring cleaning and taking some stuff to the goodwill.
2. I'm currently hooked to two songs: Fascination by La Roux and Time Won't Let Me Go by The Bravery.
3. I have a jar of baby dill pickles on my desk.
4. I very much like my wrists. I'm not sure why.
5. I keep coming across various versions of this quote: go for what you want, don't let fear hold you back, don't let that be a regret later in life. I very much like that and I try to remember that everyday. Sometimes though, something as simple as a coffee invite is downright terrifying yet the thought of never knowing what that answer would be is equally terrifying.

That's all I've got