Okay okay I get that you want to tell your stories, funny stories of the kids and your husband. But for the love of all that is precious, stop I beg of you stop screaming your stories. I can hear you 2 hallways over just as if you were shouting through a megaphone directly into my ear.
**That is what I'd like to say at this very moment, however I don't want to be rude so I will keep it to the blog and be done with it.**

My mood is mostly fine - I've got some serious classic oldies playing and I'm really diggin that. Tapping my feet under the desk, whispering words to the songs. Doing my very best to stay caught up with this crazy everything was due a year ago week.
I will admit though, today is pretty hectic just as yesterday was. Today I tried to burn some files onto a disk and for the life of me I cannot get it to work. I've tried both drive D and drive E and nothing works and I can't help but wonder if I've turned incredibly stupid over lunch. Who knows....

As I was venting about married man number 1 and my discomfort last night I was told that even though I'd told him no in the first place he didn't seem to get it. And I don't know.... still feels off. I don't want to deal with this - this awkward confrontation. But as they said last night 'it'll chase you down til you breakdown unless you do something about it now'. So I sent out my email this am. Maybe via phone works for some folks but not for me. I get flustered and end up agreeing to buy a pinto or something. I'm that bad. So we'll see what happens. Here's hoping it won't be wierd. Okay so let's get real for a minute. Is it bad that in all honesty I kinda hope he just decides HE doesn't want to talk to me anymore? So I don't have to deal w/ the even though we're just friends I'll still know what he wants to do to me. Is that bad? Not quite sure....

I don't know if this month has been particulary frustrating and overwhelming or if my attitude has changed some. I know someone who I love to talk to all the time about anything and everything but lately I find the conversations to be excruciatingly trying. As if every word I hear is downcast, here's what's wrong w/ the world , the company, the government, let me tell you how bad and evil people are and I know this person has a God complex and so and so will stab you in the back.
Good Grief just throw me in front a bus for all that's worth! Does this mean I've slowly gotten more positive? Does it mean I'm just tired? What's this mean?
I find that now I always argue against the conversation - always always say something back as if to prove that some things have always sucked and may never change but get over it! For the love of God get over it. Live life, do your best GET OVER IT!!!

So onto a happier less venty note......

I so love in a brotherly way my guy friend B. He's grand. He's so nice and funny and I know that if I start crying at work I can find him and he'll hold onto me while I sob on his shoulder then he'll sneak me outside for cigarettes and tell me dumb jokes to make me laugh. I love that we hug each other every single morning and at one time a few folks at work were convinced we were dating when in fact we were not.
I love his hat that he refuses to let me wear. I love that while he can be crazy he is so sage in his advice.

I love my Bible Study ladies. I love that we've gotten to know and grow w/ each other and talk about some of our deepest thoughts. I love the support, honesty, charisma, all of it that we share weekly. I love that if I need advice no holds barred - they'll give it to me. I'm lucky to have met them and to have gotten the chance to know them.

I love that even though it's December if feels mid spring or early fall and it makes me want to drive with the windows open w/ Chicago or some great angsty punk blaring from the stereo. I love that there's this grassy smell to the air when I walk out of the house every morning.

I love that Mr. Crush can pronounce my last night perfectly and that he says it in a teasing way when I have to call him for help on stuff.

And that's it for today as I've gotten a fresh stack of need it immediately work.

Sincerely, Me