Ever feel like you've got alot to say but can't seem to get the words to come out?

That feeling seems to be following me like a storm cloud.



Friday my grandparents were in town so we headed off to my parents for dinner. As I had expected, I did get that "So does he (sister's boyfriend) have a brother for beth?" I knew I'd hear it as I hear it everytime they are in town.

Since I'm so incredibly tired of feeling as if I have to defend myself for being single, I just lied and said, oh I'm seeing someone. At that point my sister jumped in and brought the conversation around to something else. God bless her.

I'm sure that's part of their 'job' as relatives but I hate hearing it. I've heard it all before.

I am well aware of my single status. Generally speaking it doesn't bother me - I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reason. Been there done that.

Don't get me wrong, there are certain things I sure do miss. Hand holding, that look you get from the boyfriend, all that stuff. I miss that; however I refuse to settle for less.

I have an idea of what I want and I know for a fact what I do not want. I think that is perfectly okay.

Seems to me that relatives don't always understand that concept.



I found myself Friday late night pouring through my bible and notes looking for words of inspiration. I have been told this is a good thing to do and at times it has worked quite well.

Friday however proved extremely frustrating as I couldn't quite find the words that 'spoke' to me.

After smoking w/ my sister and 'venting' over my frustration, the words I needed just popped into my head. BAM!!!! funny how that turns out. Have faith, He has a plan for you even if you don't yet know what it is.

Sunday the sermon seemed to focus very much on that topic. Again, funny how that works out. I needed to hear it.



The rest of the weekend was me working on art ideas - I have come up w/ some interesting ideas that I'd really like to try out. I finished one yesterday and I hope I don't sound too egotistical when I say I am very impressed with it.




I've had this strange and disturbing recurring dream that while it's extremely vivid in my mind I cannot describe it in words. I hope to draw it out. Since it is a recurring dream I can't help but wonder if there is any signifigance in it.



I never did get around to spring cleaning and goodwill but i did manage a load of dishes and laundry and even took the trash out. Go me........
The rest of the weekend I spent working on some drawings and relaxing.





I find that when my mood seems to be decent but edging towards irritable it helps to listen to anything by Kate Bush. She is fantastic.